Traces.

12.31.08. (AM.)

I don't have much to say. Last day of 2008. It's given me a run for my money. But it was nice. A lot of shit, but too much fun to out-weigh it. It was long, but in the same sense, it flew by. I regret a lot. But i'm happy for what i've experienced this year. I met people, i lost people. I knew a million shitty people, i knew a few amazing ones that made up for it. I'm happy about where i'm at.. i think.

Envy on the coast on sunday was different.
Not in a bad way, but maybe not good?
Who am i kidding, always good.
But, very different.
This is weird. But it's them,
and i'll support them regardless.
I know they know what they're
doing and i know i'll probably
always love it.


So here's to 2009.

I'VE ALWAYS HEARD THAT THE GOOD DIE YOUNG.

12.27.08, but into the a.m.

Today, or just this weekend has been crazy so far. and i know it's just going to get better. Yesterday i find out that therefore i am dropped off the lineup, and then i ended up having an amazing time watching our last night anyway. Then today just started to be the worst day ever. And shitty people were being shitty. And everyone was just being a huge ass. And then we get to the palladium, which i hate that venue, and they wouldn't let us go downstairs. They kept telling us we had to go up on the balcony, and i stayed there because i wasn't going to fucking miss lions lions and this bitch that worked there was like I WILL THROW YOU OUT. Like honestly bitch, try me, you don't have that authority. And lions lions was just amazing, and i made it downstairs for them, and found mike, and a loss for words is just so great, and i had the most amazing time ever at four year strong. I've heard nothing but good things about their live experience, and it just lived up to everything i've ever heard.

And it makes me realize that like, everyone can be an ass, and be a bitch and i'll fight with everyone around me, but then i go and just, listen to the music i live for, and go crazy with my best friends. And everything is just, so amazing, no matter what happens prior, when you're there and you get than high you're unable to describe, it's just the best thing in the world. And to just stand there with my best friend and have the best nights of my life just shows that shitty people don't matter, because i have everything i need, and i could never dream of anything better.

Watching everyone tonight, and being a part of it, it was like, all of a sudden it hit me. I never quite realized until tonight. Like, watching everyone at rocko's last week, and last night, and then especially everything tonight, it's just crazy.

It makes me realize that i'm just so thankful for the music scene we have in this area. Honestly, the dedication is crazy. It just makes me realize that these people LIVE for this. I probably sound crazy, but i don't know how to explain it, it's just the most amazing thing in the world to me and i love it.

Envy on the coast tomorrow/tonight.

Fuck you, i love my life <3

Knowing I May Have Been The Cause.

12.24.08

Christmas Eve.
Or christmas technically. 12:34 am. I always wish at this time, rather than 11:11. I never knew why. I've had the girl by city and colour on repeat for hours and hours. It's so beautiful. I have a feeling this christmas will be better. I guess this house has bad luck with holidays or birthdays. But, i feel like this one will be better. Falling asleep on christmas eve is always the worst. I have a day of marathons of a christmas story ahead of me, time for some rest... hopefully hahaha.

And I'd hope you know this song reminds me of you.
because nothing matters anymore. because you did someting right for once, even if you didn't mean to.

Merry Christmas Everyone.

Baby It's Cold Outside.

12.21.08

Just don't care, allow everything to hold as little significance to you in your mind as possible, because the less you care about things, the less they can hurt you.

It's winter again. I try never to think about winter days from last year. and i especially try to forget how i ruined you christmas. This vacation will be good. I know it. I'm determined that one day, a holiday or birthday in my household WILL be nice. I'm trying as hard as i can to make this christmas that holiday. But after a certain point, it's not in my hands.

I will not speak.

I'm excited for the next few weeks.
Friday, therefore i am and our last night.
saturday, lions lions and four year strong,
sunday, ENVY ON THE COAST.
Then new year's ever. Then me and Noor might go see lions lions again on the 2nd if we can get there. It it'll all be great until March.

I'm determined to believe this will all be good
no matter how much i wish you were a part of it.

Listening To: Diving Bells and Cinder Blocks - Lions Lions

Carolina.

12.19.08

Half day today, then a blizzard, which is still going on right now. We have over a foot of snow, and i love it. I went to Noor's and we made peppermint cookies, just to be festive. Then of course, we made playdoh, and went out to play in the snow, because we're still little kids when it comes to winter days.
Therefore i am was supposed to be tonight but it got postponed until next friday. I'm going to sleep now, then going to the mall early tomorrow with talia. Then tomorrow night, going up to manchester for Vanna and Lions Lions with Nora.

GO HERE! ahahhaha if you know these people, it will be the funniest thing in the world to you. I can't post the actualy picture because it needs to be kind of big for you to see everything.
GO! CLICK HERE! GO! CLICK!


Listening To: Why oh Why - Brighten.

Hold On Blogspot.

12.16.08.

WHAT. THE. FUCK. SERIOUSLY. I FUCKING HATE PEOPLE SOMETIMES. More like, since the beginning of this school year, I can honestly say that i've realized i hate 90% of the people i know. I walk into school and see two different pregnant girls within like, twenty minutes. One of them is wearing a shirt that reads "i'm not fat, i'm knocked up." Like, OH I'M SO SORRY, I DIDN'T REALIZE YOU WERE FUCKING STOKED TO BE PREGNANT. Honestly, that's a good thing for you to take responsibility and have the child, but you don't really need to parade your sixteen year old ass around school fucking boasting about it. And the fact that one of our seniors, who is supposed to represent our school, went to a school event with her shirt rolled all the way up, and "MHS MILF" painted on her belly, is just fucking dispicable. In every fucking class of mine, i just sit there and try not to say anything. All i hear around me is this girl or that girl talking about how fucking amazing she is and how it's OBVIOUS that every guy on the face of the earth OBVIOUSLY wants her shit. And i USED to think i could be obnoxious, but some fucking people are just go out of their fucking way to be noticed, like chill the fuck out. Then at home, i'm cleaning the kitchen and my dad is like "GET OUT OF MY FUCKING WAY." It's like, OH I'M SO SORRY I WAS TRYING TO DO AS I'M TOLD. And he actually says things like "GO AHEAD AND TALK BACK TO ME, I'M LOOKING FOR REASONS TO TAKE YOUR THINGS." Did it ever occur to you that that is not fucking normal? Take my computer, or phone, or whatever if i do something WRONG or rightfully deserving punishment but don't fucking sit there and make up reasons to spite me. And i don't even want to get started on the next person. I sit through my entire day of hooligans and stupids girls that ARE JUST SO FUCKING FRESH just to catch those few minutes when i get to say hi to you. It's crazy that it's been so long and you could still make me smile even if i was about to fall into a volcanoe or something. you honestly have no idea how much i love you for that.
AND TO TOP IT ALL FUCKING OFF.
my phone broke last night. FUCK YOU LG. i hate you. I want it to be february so i can get my upgrade.

NEEDS TO BE FEBRUARY SO I CAN GET THIS.


and joe clay is probably going to kick my ass on friday.
JOE CLAY YOU'RE SO FUCKING FRESH, YOU'RE LIKE A RIPE BANANA. BYE.

Decembers.

12.13.08

It's like clockwork really.
It's Decemer again, and it's all happening, again.
The exact same way, it's all happening again.
Right in front of me,
all that's left to do is pray i don't make the same mistakes as i did last time.
I just under estimated how hard it would be to do that.
and sometimes, i still don't believe you forgive me.

Don't Be So Hard.

12.10.08

I give up on you. Liar.

I have my reality baby until friday. It cries every three seconds.
EDIT // I wrote that twenty minutes ago and then had to go take care of the stupid baby, it won't shut up.

Whatever, honestly, i just give up. On anything i ever thought. As far as you're concerned. I don't want to. But i am.

edit // oh and also, i was just curious how many times i am going to have to tell you that i am terribly attracted to you for some crazy reason unknown to me, before you get it.


Listening To: ships - when girls kiss girls

Hair As Black As Night.

12.8.08.

Currently sitting here as my hair dye sets in. My hair hasn't been black in quite some time. I bought the dye about a month ago and kept forgetting, so i figured i should just get on it.
Oh and to be honest, you make me change my mind like i didn't even know possible.
Oh and, you have no idea how happy i am for things to finally be back to normal as far as we're concerned. It's been a while.

Ten days in counting until i get my camera <3
i'm too excited for this.


Oh and I'm also just having a laugh at how much i over exaggerate things.


Listening To: Temper Temper acoustic - envy on the coast.

The Epitome Of Faith.

12.07.08

I get to take home my reality baby tomorrow, what a joy. But in reality, this is going to be horrible. It cries like a bitch, and you have to feed it and change it and rock it, and it wakes you up at night crying so loud. This, is going, to be, a nightmare. Haha i just remember this time a few months ago when me, kati, talia and sweenes spent the night in kati's camper in her driveway. Fun times with those girls, i can't believe i've known Kati since i was like four, and Chelsee since we were about eight i think. It's crazy, when we were little we'd have sleep over and talk about how crazy it would be to be like, big bad eight graders, and how we couldn't wait to be in highschool, and feeling like it was a lifetime away. It's nice to sit here today, and be a sophomore and still be able to say we've stayed friends all these years.
I like how i just spun into a crazy old story, but it's nice to think about that every once in a while.

Someone should really just make it the 18th. Hopefully i'll be getting my camera that day. Then the last day of school is the 19th, and also that day, therefore i am and our last night. Then the next day, Lions Lions and Vanna. Then christmas a few days later, then four year strong on the 27th, and ENVY ON THE MOTHER FUCKING COAST the day after that. Hahahah, just saying.

Goodnight crazy fools. PS: i sent in a postsecret.


Listening To: I'm Breathing.. Are You breathing Too? - Envy On The Coast

We Can Go To Seattle.

12.3.08.

Happy Birthday Mike Carden! =]

Got the new Ap today, so happy. New used record out in February, so, stoked. It's not even funny haha. But apparently the new eotc won't be out until August. Or maybe even longer, it's gonna kill me to wait that long for new jams.

I'm so tired, i could sit here and think of something to say but i'm in great need of sleep.


AND LOL JUST SAYIN'

i have no life.


Listening To: Bob Dylan's 115th Nightmare - The Gay Blades

Porcelain.

11.30.08

This Weekend was fun, went down to Providence on Friday for sassyback tour, because once wasn't enough. Stayed at Maggie's house with Talia, i love when i get to see her. The Gay Blades were supposed to play yesterday but it got cancelled. I was so sad I love them. We went to see twilight instead, to see what all the craze was about. It was a good movie, but very over-rated. Anyway, spent half the day with City and Colour on repeat, doing no good for me at all. I don't know what i did to my leg but it's killing me, softball this morning was horribly painful.

I realized two things today.





Listening To: Sugar Cube - Porcelain and the Tramps

Alabama.

11.28.08.

(keeping in mind this was written late, i need sleep, sassyback tour again tomorrow, good times with maggie await.)

Listening to this one song by dallas green, on repeat, geez.
I just want it to be early summer again, i just want to have like one day where everything was how it was in early summer when i was down there.

And i still want to go there now and hang out with Andrew =]

By the way, i just want to scream at you and stop playing games, scream at you in a good way, to get a point across =]


i miss this place right now:


and, i love steven tikellis! mcjewster!<3
he called me tonight to tell me how much money he saved:



Listening To: The Big Breakdown - The Sleeping.

A Faulty Foundation.

11.24.08

Rest In Peace, Casey Calvert.

I've been listening to a shit ton of midtown all day. I wish they'd play like, even just one reunion show, i'd walk there, or do whatever to be there, wherever. That would make my life.

I love Nora, and i love how, when shit happens, she does it the right way. Don't waste your time being pissed, being mad, wishing this, wishing that. Sit there, talk about the good. I think we just planned our fairy tale's. No shitty people, except a couple of those shitty people we love. Best friends, honesty, good times. It'd all be good.

I love life, i hate bitches.

There's no such thing as complaining when people are being shitty.


ahahhahahahhaha, oh, what?



Listening To: Empty Like The Sea - Midtown.

Transit.

11.23.08

Wow, the second twilight movie had official got the ok. Just when i thought this international problem couldn't get any worse... it's a book. It's nice to enjoy a good book, i encourage it, stop shoving it down peoples throats and stop making it the ONLY thing you talk about, it makes me want to stab you in the eye.

I just realized that it is 2am, and if i were to fall asleep at this very monomt, i'd only get 6 hours of sleep before having to get up for softball. I feel like it's about 11pm. Hungout with Noor tonight, what else is new. I bought a micro sd and an adapter for my phone, and while moving things to my computer, i accidentally deleted about 100 old pictures i'd be trying to save. After about an hour of trying to redeem them, i gave up. I hate computers sometimes. It turns out that winter passing is going to be officially released, i'm not sure how it will change the feeling of the song, but i'm praying it won't make it different, i'm not sure if i'll even want to listen to the revised version or just avoid it all together.
I hate that i'm not sure if you're supposed to make me smile.

Listening To: mpls - sing it loud.

Just Bring Us Back.

11.22.08

Bronx Mowgli Wentz, bmw?

My name is Molly, I have nothing to write about, let's throw this up in the air. I am a sophomore. I am fifteen, sixteen in February. I like pictures, propel, good beats, music that makes you think, my best friends, and telling stories. I have no idea what i want to do in my life. But, for the first time ever, right now I know who I want in my life, who I need in my life, who I love to have in my life. I appreciate best friends, and sitting around talking for hours with nothing better to do. I appreciate summer, but there is nothing i love more on this earth than the changing of seasons, fall, and into winter. I love the snow. My family is from Alabama, but i will NEVER live in a place that does not have four seasons. I love Boston, i love Salisbury and Hampton, and i love Providence. I love people who still type with good grammar, despite it being 2008. I love when you find true connection. I love when you find something that means something. I love one person, for helping me to be able to sit here today, through the changing of seasons and write about what i love.

Disregard Everything I Ever Say.

And in case you were wondering, i haven't decided if i'm mad at you. It's probably not worth it, I'm sorry I let myself believe for whole couple of days that you actually weren't still an asshole.

Listening To: Rescue - Lions Lions

Phone Calls From New York.

11.19.08

HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY SAL BOSSIO!

So here it is, the sad post. Sad as in the "let me make a complete fool of myself." Here it goes, there's a song written recently, and that i also heard live just last week. It's call winter passing, and it's beautiful. There's such an indescribable amount of emotion within in. Everytime i hear it, it doesn't matter what's going on, but, just for those 3 minutes that it's streaming through my ears, everything, everything, is different. It's things like these you do not find often, at all. I love this. Erika just called me from the NYC show, Bill was playing it live. I couldn't describe how i feel right now. And you now have complete authority to mock me. I'll take it, this is worth it.


Winter Passing.
Its winter again, a white washed and frozen sky…
I came to the door, eyes maladjusted from the light,
but your voice rang clear.
You said, “For all I thought I’d ever need,
its hard to face the holidays without.”
Well I’ve left my last message on your machine
Its hard to face the holidays when you’re looking for the words to say.
So you’ve found a friend. You spend all your cold nights with him,
but if i was there, then I’d wonder why you still wear my jacket closed
with traces of my scent.
I’d say, “For all I thought I’d ever need,
its hard to face the holidays without.”
Well I’ve left my last message on your machine
Its hard to face the holidays when you’re looking for the words to say.
So stay with me here. Nose to nose, cold enough to see as our breath slowly escapes and exchanges from my lungs to yours, from your mouth to mine.
For all I thought I’d ever need,
its hard to face the holidays without.
Well I’ve left my last message on your machine
it’s hard to face the holidays when you’re looking for the words to say.
When you’re looking for the words to say.


Steven took this last week,



Listening To: Winter Passing, on repeat, forever - the academy is.

The Monkey On Your Back Is The Latest Trend.

11.18.08.

I just realized right now that i saw Jack's Mannequin two years ago today. Wow, i miss them. They played here last night, and it was sold out, had been for a while.

I'm really happy with how i'm doing in school. I know, i know, that sounds terribly geekish. But it's true, i usually have to struggle to stay above a c, and this is the first time in over a year i've made honor roll again. Now personally, i could care less about honor roll. In my mind, a C is average. But my parents like totally shit if i don't make honor roll, so this report card made for getting along being much easier.

Operation meet Mike Carden, January 2006 - present day: fail. Just thought i'd remind myself. It's going to happen, it will... someday, ahhaha.

I'm tired, and i honestly have noting to write about, except that, people can be different people within themselves. And right now, the person i really like is back out there, not the one i didn't like, PLEASE, let this last.



Listening To: slow down demo - the academy is.

There is room at the top, i'm telling you still.

11.16.08.

Happy birthday to whatever pete wentz named
the kid his baby momma popped out tonight.

Today was nice. Softball to wake me up in the morning, volunteered at a basketball tournament for a few hours (even though it was required haha,) and then went to Noor's with Steven. Also, me and Talia go the definate okay to go down to Providence for Sassyback tour, because once in Hampton wasn't enough.

I love best friends.
I hate bitches and hoes.
I love good times.
I love this weather.
I love knowing who i do or don't need.
I love knowing that there's people who are there for me, always, and i love knowing i'll always be there for them. This is a pact, this is a promise.

Tonight i told a really long story to Noor, that no one else knows about, except of course, the people involved. It felt good to get it away from just my mind. I'm not really sure right now, whether or not I still care.. but that's for the future to decide.

It's almost winter, i'm excited.

And twitter is one of the easiest things to grow addicted to. I know my updates are on my page, but my url is: www.twitter.com/mollyxftw

Happy birthday to Noor again.


Me and Steven ordered these: "mondayeyes" <3
(yes, i bought into the cliche, but i do take part in it.)



Listening To: Down and Out - The Academy Is...

Woah, What?

11.16.08.

(night of 11.15? roll with it.)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NORA WAFAI! <33333

Went to Noor's tonight for pre birthday fun. Ended up baking cake and watching tai tv all night, reminiscing (sp?) all of the old times when the academy, and the academy only, was the soundtrack to my life. I'm going back tomorrow, for more birthday fun, sweet sixteen, if only it lasted forever.

I've grown addictions.
The william beckett blog. the bronx. Mondayeyes, that ones for sure. twitter. less sleep, i've grown accustomed. kane hodder the podcast, that one kicked back in. Anyway, etc etc, the list goes on forever.


I've grown a new love for built in webcams, and effects.

oh and, the butcherrr ;]


listening to: inveigh - the bronx

You're A Lush, And I Hate It.

11.11.08.

Happy Birthday Jeremy Velardi!

Veterans day, no school. This weather is the most perfect thing in the world. I love it, it brings out the best in me. I'm excited for tomorrow, and for my weekend with maggie, and for seeing the gay blades again.

I really hate when people bring up things that don't matter. Why do you have to bring up old shit? And why are you apologizing now, it's way too late for that one.

I forgot i had softball tonight. And by the way, i wish i could paint, or draw more than stick figures, it'd be a much more productive way to spend my time.


i want this day back so bad, one more time.


listeing to: puppy mills presents - the gay blades

Take The Red From Your Eyes.

11.9.08.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DANNY PERALTA.

This week will be good. School tomorrow, and working tomorrow, so that'll go towards my camera. No school tuesday. Not going to school wednesday, going to Boston with Steven for the academy is and we the kings. Hopefully going to lions lions friday. I miss them. Apparently envy is playing here again soon, but there's no details yet, so i'm worried i won't figure everything out in time. There's a little piece of me that just wants to work and sleep until christmas, i hate waiting. I want my camera so bad, all i want to do is work. I need another job.


<3

Listening to: starving your friends - envy on the coast.

We Whispered.

11.7.08 / 11.8.08

Night of, morning of, i can't figure it out. I should be going to see maggie and chiodos tonight but i'm not, because envy on the coast likes to throw up sudden shows. But i'd give up any other show if it meant not missing them, so it's chill.
I do miss maggie though, i wish i saw her more. And speaking of missing people, Erika better be coming to visit me soon!
I've been getting into the bronx a lot lately. I don't know what it is about their music but i love it. There's something unique about it.


Also, oasis by amanda palmer cracks my shit up.



Listening to: pleasure seekers - the bronx

envy on the fucking coast.

11.6.08.

Last night, was amazing. I'm falling asleep at the keyboard so i'm gonna bank on this getting re-edited tomorrow.
Their set last night, or just all of last night in general was most definately one of the best times of my entire year.

11.7.08.
edit// No, this isn't getting re-edited, because i wrote "one of the best nights of my year" and that hands down would sum it up pretty well. yes. //


Tenth time baby, I am a huge loser.



listening to: jamestown - the movielife

Living In History.

11.4.08.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAGGIE RILEY<3

November 4th. Today will change history, and not just because it's Maggie's birthday. As of right now, it looks like Barack Obama is the new president of the United States. It was time for change, we needed it, and although i may hardly understand politics in the least, i have faith that he'll change American for the better. I'm excited to see what will happen in the coming months.

Tomorrow, Envy On The Coast. I can't explain how excited i am for this. A college show, I've heard a lot about how much more fun college shows are. I'm stoked that we're even going to get in in the first place. I'm thinking this is going to be one of the most amazing nights of my year. It's been ten times <3




listening to: bike scene - taking back sunday

Maybe I'm A Ghost.

11.2.08.

I want to shove a grammar lesson up america's ass. If i see one more person write "are" when the correct word is "our," or spell the word "dying" as "dieing," i'm going to burn down all the schools, because apparently they're useless anyway. Either what needs to be taught isn't getting taught, or kids just don't care. If you want to take your macrobio lab about bugs and not pay attention, that's fine. I can promise that 90% of people will never use things like that in life. But do yourself a favor. Take 45 minutes out of your whole school day, and pay attention in english class. Because every single person on this earth needs to know how to fucking spell. Thank you.
On a lighter note, i had expected i wouldn't get to see envy on the coast until january or february. But now i'll be seeing those boys wednesday. This should be great. It's a day after Maggie's birthday, so it's even better that i'm going to see her there too.
It pretty much needs to be November 12th, because i know Bill and Trav's bogus journey tour is going to be too amazing to express in words. I'm hoping this will make up for missin sleeping with giants last year, because that's one i'll never forgive myself for missing, even though i was grounded.
Elections are Tuesday, and i honestly have no idea who could win this one. I think that's good for a change. But i don't understand politics, and i'm almost 100% sure i never will, so i'll stay out of this.


This girl makes me hate life, it's a book, read it, don't live it please.


Went to derry for and then there were none on halloween. It was really fun, but it honestly felt nothing like halloween, more like any other friday night, which kind of bummed everyone out.



DISCLAIMER:
(because everyone takes the internet so seriously, i'd like to note that i'd never actually burn down a school, it's more a metaphore for my anger. because i know there's some asshole out there who will print this and bring it to the police. Or maybe it's just because of that time like 5 years ago when some kid was being annoying and i told him to stop being so fucking gay and he printed it out and brought it to our principle.)


listening to: still - the sleeping.

I Am The Messenger.

I never summed up friday. Hands done, fucking amazing. We got there at like, 5:30 and there were barely any people there. It was weird. The lineup was as follows, POS, the devil wears prada, saosin, and underoath. Some guy came by and gave us wrist bands for a meet and greet, so we went. Honestly, i know there are a thousands kids who say this every day, but all of underoath really are the sweetest dudes ever. From that time talking to Timmy for a half hour by a river in lowell almost two years ago, to spending 5 minutes talking to them friday night, they're really the most down to earth boys you'll ever meet.

I don't care what anyone says, POS is fucking amazing. Every time i see him i'm just amazed. He works so hard for everything he does, and i want to punch every little shithead kid that told him he sucked. Honestly, if you don't like it, suck it up, because i can promise you he works 34764373x harder than any one of those kids telling him he sucked.

It still amazes me that THAT voice comes out of spencer chamberlain's body.

And also, POS definately kicked my ass in thumb wrestling like 4363637 times, even though i definately killed him once last year.

Good times, Panic at the Disco wednesday, no way near the live show of underoath, but this will be fun.



Oh and PS:
cove reber wants to be ryan hunter so bad.
you should have seen him, you'd agree.

Kill The Messenger.

10.25.08

Tired. Tired. Tired.
I love grape propel, and hate beaver girls. I met my twin last night, his name is Rab and we were separated at birth. I'm getting a tattoo that someone i care about told me was "really fucking gay." Also, it's been far too long since i've seen envy on the coast. Last night was pretty crazy. Third time seeing POS, second time seeing TDWP, even though i could care less about them, third time seeing underoath, and fourth time seeing saosin. So good.

Tonight i was at my friend's house and her mom was having a halloween get together downstairs. we walked down there and saw a woman with assless chaps as a costume. i peed my pants laughing, only not really.
also there was a lady passed out in a chair:

i thought that was funny.


talia took this picture and made me laugh at how much i suck:



i also love danny peralta with all my soul.
because he's an amazing person.
and far nicer than most people you'll ever meet.

You Weren't Heard..

10.23.08

Happy Birthday Ally Bull!


Today i decided, for good, i don't care.
people are shitty,
people do shitting things,
but then it's like,
i'm not dying.
i haven't lost anyone very close to me.
i have a few best friends.
i do almost everything i want to.

shit happens.
love life.
life is good.



tomorrow ;] <3


six days ;]

Dinosaurs!?

10.21.08

I need to think of something extra spectacular to do for Maggie for her birthday. I really want to go see Lions Lions on halloween, that'd make the day perfect. I hate that there is someone i know that makes me smile so much. Even though that statement makes absolutely no sense, i know. Tonight i was writing an essay about my decision of whether or not to stay here or move to Alabama. Writing it made me realize just how much i love it here. I love being thirty minutes from boston, and twenty minutes from the beach. I love Lowell, and the perfect chilly fall weather. I love taking the train into the city with my friends, and i love Methuen High. I love the 119 gallery, and good times with noor, and i quote, "LEMME TOUCH IT JUST FOR A MINUTE!?" I wish i lived closer to Smagdelyn, but i love going to her house and going down to providence on weekends. I love the living room, that venue is the shit. I love snow piling 5 feet high. I love the smell of new england, if that even makes sense.

Why have i had panic at the disco stuck in my head forever? i think it's because they're playing here wednesday, and i haven't seen them in two years, and as much as i hate to admit it, i really want to go.



this picture cracks my shit up.
me and katie are nerds, i love providence by the way.

lupo's, providence, september 27th, pouring rain. the very best.

Just A Dash Of Framaldayde.

10.20.08

I am going to every single johnny cupcakes release from now on, talk about fun. Nothing has happened. I've been grounded for no reason. Literally, not like most people say to be whiney, but that's probably how i sound anyway. I want to go to Our Last Night and Lions Lions on halloween. And i love this chilled october weather, the weather everyone's complaining about. i love it more than anything.


hardly anyone will ever understand how badly
i want to relive this day. just one more time.


also, i love nora wafai,
because i'm a creep, and she gets it.


I love this tattoo.

Tell me if it's yours? so i can tell you that i love your imagination.

So It's Time For the Cliche...

10.11.08

So it's time for that cliche day after show overview. Last night was pretty fun. Hampton Casino is definately one of my favorite venues, so that's a plus. Cobra Starship, Forever The Sickest Kids, Sing It Loud, and Hit The Lights. Haha so me and talia totally sweet talked and lied to this guy running the guest list and he gave us wrist bands to get in early. That was pretty sweet. I just saw hit the lights two weekends ago so it was even more fun to see them. Sing it Loud was plain amazing, as i expected. Like a dance party. Forever the sickest kids is always a good time. This time didn't prove to be any different. Cobra was decent, but based on all of the other times i've seen them, pretty weak. But still really fun of course. We were too lazy to go to the meet and greet afterwards because that's only for SUPER cool kids, which we're not. We hung out outside, where i was "freezing my tits off" and kyle burns was "making sure to let me know if he saw them on the ground somewhere." I met a man that appeared to be Adam Lazzara's love child. And Ben from sing it loud insisted we watch youtube videos on his iphone while pat screamed all the words to it.
It was RACK EM RACK.

Thanks Talia.

10.7.08

So thanks to Talia, I'm basically obsessed with this show True Blood now. Usually vampire books, shows, everything are so cliche. Seriously, it's always the same story. Like people who are obsessed with Twilight!? It's a book, and it's seriously cliche, get over it, please? This show is actually really good though. Thanks for putting a different spin on a vampire story, FINALLY. And for making the main vampire in the show extremely attractive, that's a plus. More softball now.

Tell me that you're alright?
yea, everything s alright.

game.

homecoming.

10.4.08

homecoming is always the fucking worst time. i got dressed up, got excited, showed up with a smile, all for one person. one person, who seriously, just is completely rediculous. Danny Peralta pretty much makes my life so much better. hahaha. I don't want to go to sleep. i know it will all go to hell once i lay down and think. i don't want to think. i want it to be tomorrow, so i can go to softball, and run, and think of the game and nothing else. and i want steven and nora to come over and chill, and i want to talk to talia lee bercume. Everything is fine.



i lost the game.

Honestly,

10.2.08

I ruin fucking everything. I overspeak, I overthink. But i also think to little. I rip people to shreds. Nobody wants to spend much time on me once they realize how inconvenient it will be for them. I am annoying, i will bug the shit out of you. You will hate me, and that's a promise. And then i get pissed off when i realize it's my fault so many people hate me. I RUIN EVERYTHING. Today is the most perfect fall day, i'm going for a long, long walk. And i'm going to have a nice think, about all the things that are horrible about me. And all the things i need to change. Because i always say i'm going to change, and i never do. But this is it, this is the start of change. And if i don't follow through this time, i don't even know what's next. Bye.

Hello Love.

9.30.08

i have a flickr now.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/mollyxftw

Also, less than an hour until October, this means it's my favorite time of year. The time of year when you will most likely never find me without a smile. I think more clearly in the fall, i'm just a happier person. I think fall is good for people. And for anyone who's known me long enough, they know it's definately good for me.

This Is Where I Would Have..

9.29.08

This is where I would have posted something i said a few hours ago. Except someone pointed out it'd be and amazing song title, and it's mine. hahaha. I have battered elbows from saturday night. Chiodos and Motion City Soundtrack, they're both always great, and together was like even better. I got to spend the weekend with my best friend. We were first there and last there, and i finally met Matty Taylor.



My friend is like, intensly bummed right now, and i just feel bad. I feel like i should help, or have something better to say than just 'i'm sorry.' But i honestly don't know what else to say, because that's just it, i'm just sorry.
I've realized recently that i hate the person i have become, and in a ditch attempt to turn that around, i feel like i've made it worse. I always said i'd tried to be the one someone could come to, the one that'd always be nice to people, the one who was just a good person. And i feel like i try to be that person in my head, but everything that i say makes me such a bitch. I'm the one who runs to everyone else, and say shit before even thinking about it. I know i've said this COUNTLESS amounts of times, but i honestly need to talk 90% less than i do right now. And think 100% more.

thirty minute grace period.

9.25.08

i just lost the game.
the right half of my body is like a block of ice. i have this new rule where i have to ice my whole shoulder and upper arm after i pitch. and it's cold enough in my room already. Grey's Anatomy season premiere tonight! i haven't been this excited since the first time i heard the used. well okay, maybe not, but i'm excited. Cleaning for the rest of the day, then going to norwood tomorrow night or saturday morning. I get to see maggie and dan dan, so this'll be good times. Chiodos and Motion City Soundtrack with them on saturday!<3 This weekend will be good. And a half day of school tomorrow, so it's all adding up. And by the way, Kelsey Freelove makes me love my life.

"La da da da ta ta ta.
i won't try that again."

GAME.

PS: everyone go buy the new Gay Blades cd,
they're asolutely great, it's called ghosts,
and it won't disappoint. =]

Stay Together For The Kids?

9.22.08

I pretty much just peed my pants in excitement, only not literally. I guess there's basically nothing confirmed, but apparently there's going to be a Blink 182 reunion tour '09. This is seriously crazy. If it actually happens, I don't know what i'm going to do. It'll be crazy trying to get tickets, but i'll be happy just to be there. I don't know how many times i've joked with the phrase "i'd cut off my hand to see blink 182." And now it might actually happen. The seeing them part, not the cutting off my hand part, thanks. I've been home sick, i felt like shit, up until i heard this, then i pretty much died. Of excitement of course though. This is crazy.



<3!?

I Hate Peas.

9.21.08

Like really, I went to my Nana and Nanu's house today with the whole family for my Nanu's birthday, and my Nana cooked this whole huge dinner. But apparently she insists upon putting peas in everything haha. I played five games yesterday morning and this morning, and pitched 4 of them, and now my arm is killing me. I went to Lions Lions at the 119 last night, good times. I got to see Liz, and chill with Noor. I always have so much fun watching lions lions play, they're just plain good, and funny hahaha. I feel so sick tonight though, like my head is going to explode or something. I'm going to pass out pretty soon. At least i hope. And i definately don't want to go to school tomorrow.

I really don't understand sometimes, why people choose to include you in on information, like when it really just brings you down. I just don't get it.

Desperate Times, Desperate Measures.

9.17.08

Happy Birthday Jon Walker.

I was cleaning today and i broke the head off a little old jesus statue, i'm going to hell. I got a haircut, I got the underoath tickets, and i got an old tour shirt from good friday of last year. It should really be the 27th right now, because i miss my best friend so much. Aparently Shelby "hates the asian girl who should have been voted the fuck off!" She makes me love my life. The envy on the coast boards won't let me sign in >:[
I really need to get sleep, i've been living off like 4 hours every night.


happy 23rd jwalker.

Jump the gun.

9.16.08

Happy Birthday Nick Jonas.

I love everything. I'm sitting here listening to tila tequila, she's hilarious. My dog got skunked last night, it was hilarious. It was, even if i was the only one who thought so. I need to find out if i can definately go to chiodos next weekend. I owe talia pictures, I broke a camera, I miss a boy, and I need to buy my underoath tickets. Saturday night will be fun, Lions Lions at the 119 with noor and maybe mike. i love that place. I've been listening to the new gym class heroes, it's so good. Take me to see them, four times isn't enough. Softball in like, 5 minutes, bai.

lack of sleep.

9.14.08

my alarm went off at 6:4o on this sunday morning, and i got up, and got dressed and ready for softball, and i was basically walking out the door when i find out the games are cancelled. i hate when this happens! haha. so i'm laying back in bed now, and not getting any extra sleep, but talking to maggie nd writing this.

i really need to get my underoath tickets. because i know i'll keep telling myself to, but then i won't and it'll sell out haha. but apparently i'm seeing chiodos twice in the next month or so, so that should be sweet.

i miss one of my best friends, i haven't seen her in forever. and i'll be in new york soon and get to see erika, and be on the boardwalk with talia, i love that.

totally super sucky?

9.12.08

I really hate the people who are your best friend until they don't feel like it, and then just hang out with you when they feel like it, or need something. Or when a good friends swears to you he won't do something and then does. ugh, people.

But, enough complaining, because i complain way too much. Especially about people, because i am in no way this ideal person. I am seriously trying to talk less, think more, and not be the most annoying person you'll ever meet.

because i am very aware that i am that person.

I saw some of the football game tonight, it was nce except for the rain, and then i saw some old friends at the loop. Good fun, it reminds me of the last, the best times ever. and i can't wait for that same smile enducing fun.

nine eleven.

9.11.08

Every year on september 11th, for the past seven years, we bow our heads in silence for a few extra minutes during the morning announcements in school. But this year, i talked to different people, listened to different stories, gained different perspectives. I think it took me seven years to realize just how tragic this day was for thousands and thousands of people. Blame it on the immiturity. Right now i'm watching a documentary about 9/11 on the history channel. It's one of the saddest things i have ever seen. From this day forward i will never let this anniversary pass without realizing the truly horrific events that took and affected so many lives.

-

This is my first blog, so maybe i should include something on a lighter note. School's been in for a week and sophomore year is good so far. Seeing a lot of people i didn't see over the summer is great. And as it gets later into september i realized it's almost the best time of year. The chilly weather, the football games, halloween, my favorite things in the world, the bets times i ever have.